© 2001 Creeper Films

THE CREEPER COLLECTION
How You Like Me Now?, Terror of Blood Gym, Limp Fangs
Director: Chris Michael

Reviewed in BadAzz Mofo

Reviewing filmmaker Christopher Michael's Creeper Collection posed a potentially awkward situation for me. After all, the brotha had bought an ad in BadAzz Mofo, but he also wanted to send copies of his films in to be reviewed. "Be honest," he told me. Knowing how much I hate watching no-budget shit by wanna be filmmakers, I resigned myself to hating his films, taking his money this one time, and then having him tell me there was no way he would ever advertise in my publication again.

Much to my surprise, I genuinely enjoyed all three films by Michael. Don't get me wrong, none of them are particularly good, at least in a technical sense; but they are all mesmerizing. Much like the way people have to look at car accidents, or pick at scabs, I could not ignore or turn away from these films. It was like I was hypnotized. Not once was I compelled to hit the fast forward button, or turn the VCR off. The fact that he has women gettin' buck nekkid only helps to hold my perverted interest.

So, what makes these films so good? Absolutely nothing. Technically they are a mess. And with production values lower than Blackenstein, some would argue that How You Like Me Now?, Terror of Blood Gym, and Limp Fangs don't even qualify as films. But there is, despite all the shit I could pick on, a definite talent at work here. Michael manages to convey enough humor and ambition to set himself apart from most of the other film/video makers out there working with no money. And while these other filmmakers only seem to be capable of ripping off every movie they've ever seen, Chris Michael seems to be drawing from his own freaky imagination. I suspect he may be insane.

Of his three films, it's hard to decide which I like best. Michael's most recent, and the only full-length feature, is Limp Fangs: The Adventures of Count Malt Liquela. The concept is great, but the execution falls apart at times. In all fairness, though, the fact that this is a full-length film opens it to more technical missteps. Had he shot this on video, and paid more attention to the overall story, I think the film would have benefited. But I can't emphasize how unimportant shit like that is. What is important is that he got the shit done, and it entertained me. Both of these are major accomplishments.

How You Like Me Now?, Michael's first film, is a whacked-out good time, which features him in the lead role as Jerome Jackson, a.k.a. The Creeper. Decked out in blackface (Chris himself is black, which only makes the shit funnier) and a jeri curl wig, Michael is hilarious. I loooove The Creeper, with his ghetto-pimp walk, and his super ghetto-jive powers. I hope to see more of him in future films.

For his next feature Michael plans on doing Count Malt Liquela vs. Blackenstein. I hope he shoots this one on vido, freeing himself from the technical traps that come with the expense of working in film. As the self-proclaimed Black Ed Wood, Chris Michael is selling himself short. Ed Wood was a talentless filmmaker, who never knew how bad he was. Michael, on the other hand, has a definite talent, and a sense of humor, that is still beyond his abilities as a filmmaker. Someday he will be a better filmmaker, making good movies. I can't wait for that time to get here.