© 2001 Creeper Films

I ain't never met filmmaker Chris Michael, but I know he's a sick freak, 'cause I done watched all his movies. Them shits is crazy, and only a crazy man could create shit like that Count Malt Liquela-type shit. And that Creeper shit cracks me up. If you like Michael's other crazy shit like Terror of Blood Gym and Limp Fangs, then you gonna love this madness, which features Chris as a pimp. This latest short film follows the downfall of a guitar player, with a bad dope habit. My man is a straight up junkie, and his jones keeps comin' to him in the form of a nekkid honey dancin' on the bed with a big-ass needle. Who the fuck thought this shit up? Don't really matter, 'cause the shit works. I don't want to be gettin' all phil-o-sophical, but that nekkid ho' is a metaphor for the powerful seduction that dope can have on your ass. Heroin is a bitch that don't fuck around. And in his own insane way, The Creeper makes that shit crystal clear. Chris Michael has managed to make one of those anti dope flicks, that has earned a place with films like Reefer Madness; this is a "just say no" film, mixed with some nuts out exploitation. High art meets sleaze. The result is like a fucked up car accident -- you don't want to look, but you can't help but stare.

THE BLUESMAN (1998)
Reviewed in Shock Cinema

Actor-director Chris Michael returns to the indie scene with this 22-minute junkie-and-sex tale, which is a change of pace from his earlier horror-comedies (LIMP FANGS). Joe Romersa stars in the title role, as a blues musician who's down on his luck, scrapping for cash, and ever in search of a quick fix. Even when he gets his first (and only?) big break, the self-destructive allure of the needle doesn't stop. This is a dead-serious subject, but the story isn't afraid to take some outrageous turns, such as when Bluesman hauls his "big funky ass" to pusher Sweet Willie Smalls (played by Michael, complete with buck teeth and a white afro). Or Jacklyn Lick as Heroin, a sultry drug fantasy who lounges around Bluesman's apartment -- and once she strips down to her b'day suit, it's no surprise he's willing to pawn his grandpa's guitar for a taste. Meanwhile, Romersa shows off his guitar licks during a gratuitous 2-1/2 minute audition. By the end, this twists into a sledgehammer anti-drug drama. Does that turn you off? Well, Jacklyn certainly won't when she's buck-naked and writhing suggestively with a oversized hypodermic between her legs. To be honest, I'm usually pissed-off by this type of "just say no" anti-whatever agenda, but since this targets heroin, I can't really complain, since it's the only drug I've seen truly fuck up friends' lives. Besides, Michael knows how to provide that 'spoonful of sugar,' thanks to gobs of nudity, and even turns up as his longtime comic character of The Creeper (this time begging for loose change with an empty KFC bucket).

THE BLUESMAN
Reviewed by Wally Wharton